I go to the gym every morning at 5:30am, it is not that I enjoy going that early, but truth be told it is the one hour a day that my phone isn’t going to ring, and someone isn’t going to need me. I can go in the evening but being that I am a mom of 3 active boys and a business owner the likely hood that my phone will ring is greater than 50/50. The minute the clock hits 6:30 P.M. I can breathe a sigh of relief because I am off duty. I should have started by saying I LOVE what I do but the phone is a like a tether to something as simple as a question to a mini crisis at any minute.
I work hard at having phone free hours of the day and wish my family felt the same way. When talking with them, I often see the tops of their heads. I have 3 boys and a wonderful husband but multi-tasking when they are on the phone is not always one of their strengths. I need your attention and frankly just want to talk to you. By the way, you are balding and when I look at the top of your head it reminds me of that…..another reason for you to put the freaking phone down.
Why do we feel the need to be so connected? My husband and I often split up for sporting events and I have a rule, I will let you know how our child did when it is done or during ½ time. It is so easy to get sucked down the rabbit hole of your phone rather than being present in the moment. The grandparents do not love it, and I appreciate that you care, but I am here and watching it and frankly just do not want to be on my phone. I have my sports people and I want and care to cheer for their children, as they cheer for mine, and being on the phone is just a distraction. I am happy to send you any links to watch it live but do not look to me to give you updates. I love you but TTYL!
Full disclosure, I stalk my husband’s Facebook (and do not have my own) and only joined Instagram because my son was traveling out of the county and that was my live line to see what they were doing. Of course, now, I am more involved especially with the businesses but probably would not miss it if it were gone tomorrow.
I wish I could say I have mastered the art of phone free time at my house but what I can tell you is that it does not get better unless you stop talking and wait for them to put their phone down to listen. I used to feel bad but now I do not. I will always give you the respect of my full attention and expect the same from you so put your freaking phone down.
When you have teenagers, phones are a huge bargaining tool. At my house if you do not have A’s and B’s then all your social media gets turned off. Yup I am that mom, bye bye Tik Tok, Insta, Snap Chat and YouTube. Some may ask than what good is your phone? Well, the answer to that is to call me in case of an emergency. After all, isn’t that why we got you a phone? Check with you cell phone provider. I pay $10/month to manage the apps my children can see, and it sometimes allows me to get my family back as well as motivates them to get those grades up.
I encourage you to do the same thing. Set rules:
No phones at dinner. This is a non-negotiable at my house, even for my husband and I. Family dinners are valued and we just do not talk enough this time is sacred.
No phones on vacation. While on vacation our phones stay in our trailer or hotel rooms. You’re a kid and you’re on the beach…..need I say more?
Explain to your children how scary phones are. It is a thing people, and you need to make sure you know who they are talking to. Educate yourself and join the platforms that you kids are on. Make them add you as a friend or follower, you need to see what they are posting.
Put ALL restrictions on their phone. Even good kids can see things that you do not want them to see. Trust me, I have been surprised by some of the texts that my boys have received.
Do random phone checks! You pay for it therefore you are free to see what is on it.
Take your time back! Find that time of the day where you can be phone free. It is exhilarating.
Consider a work phone that you can leave at home when you are not working. It keeps you from answering those emails or things that can wait until you are back at the office.
Coming full circle, and a little bit off my rant, here is my advice. I have 3 boys and they all have phones; I can typically control their use but sometimes it is harder with the hubby. Keep talking to each other, trust me you can find things to talk about that are not even on Facebook or Instagram. Do not let the phone come between you. My husband is stubborn and doesn’t like when I call him on it but when he puts the phone down, he remembers that he does enjoy our conversations and we always have things to talk about.
- Mollie Blixt
- Area Manager and Owner of The Learning Experience Gurnee, South Lyon, South Lyon West and Independence
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